Why don’t you make them use cloth diapers?
We hear this question a lot. Why don’t you make them use cloth diapers? Why don’t they use cloth? We were fine using cloth why can’t they?
So let’s take a look at this a little bit and break it down in order for everyone to understand.
The first problem with this question is “Why don’t you make them”. I don’t know about you but being told I am not allowed a choice doesn’t sit well with me. And I’ve heard this before, they should take what is offered and be grateful. That is certainly one way to look at it. But this takes away the dignity of a human being when we look at it like this. Forgetting the fact we live in a country that allows a person to make choices regardless of whether we agree with that choice or not “them” is automatically relegating a person to a “less than” status. When we call people “them” we are automatically positioning ourselves as opposite or opposing someone. I prefer to use the term “clients”. When we stop and consider the thought and intent behind “make them” it indicates we are not considering a person as good as we are or that person is somehow inferior. So a better way to think about this question is “Why can’t your clients use cloth diapers?”
So now that we have cleared up the question a bit let’s get down to the actual question. Why aren’t parents using cloth diapers?
Cloth diapers were the only option only until recent memory. I’ve heard my mother tell me about disposable diapers when they first came out and how they were. They were a whole lot different than they are now! My mother, like many others my age and older, only used cloth diapers or may have had disposable diapers for times when they were not at home or traveling. It was the way things were.
Our mothers also had a very different life when we were little. It was still common for mom’s to stay at home or to have grandmothers and other family close at hand to provide childcare for us if our moms did work outside the home. Financial situations were often more stable or consistent than what is currently experienced in young families today. It was not uncommon for a family to have a savings account, family nearby to help out when something went wrong and in general a bigger safety net.
Moms today do not have those luxuries. Many of my clients do not have any family nearby. Their income may change from week to week. A parent may lose their job from missing work due to a child/’s illness. I sat in on a non-profit round table just last week where a parent had this exact thing happen. He missed work because of a child’s significant illness and he was let go. Instant change of income. It is not right or fair to judge a family today based on what we experienced in our childhood or our experience. We can not expect something that worked for us or for our parents and grandparents to fit and work for every family out there today.
Another significant change for families today is the childcare situation. Very few families have the option to utilize grandparents as childcare on a regular or daily basis. This means using childcare centers. Childcare centers work very hard to provide the very best care they can for our most precious little ones. It is a hard job and not recognized enough for the important service childcare providers give us. As difficult as their job is they have to keep things as easy as they can in order to make caring for our kids better. This means childcare centers do not accept or allow the use of cloth diapers in their facilities. Plain and simple this is something that adds too much to their already heavy load. So even if cloth diapers are used at home a parent still must provide disposable diapers to their childcare provider.
Cloth diapers have a few other barriers to families in our community. One of those is the start up cost of getting set up to use cloth diapers. The cheapest starter kit I could find is $105. This included 1 wet bag (to put a dirty diaper in before you wash it) 1 cover and 3 inner diapers. This isn’t enough for a single day. Another set for $175 included 10 diapers, 10 inserts, and a wet bag. Keep in mind a newborn has 8-10 diaper changes in a day. This will require daily washing in order to have enough to use the next day. Many families can not afford $175 out of their budget, even if it will save them money down the road. And since most families will need to have more than 10 diapers available this is going to run quite a bit more than $175.
This leads to the next barrier, keeping them clean. Cloth diapers are not just toss and go when it comes to the washing machine. Diapers must be prepped before washing, including but not limited to the removal of solid waste, and they require the right type of laundry detergent in order to prevent them from loosing their absorbancy. If you accidentally wash them in a washing machine that has had fabric softener used in it you might discover, unpleasantly so, your cloth diapers don’t actually absorb like they used to. That leads to stripping them. Stripping cloth diapers is a long process involving soaking them in hot water and a mineral removal solution for several hours, rinsing, then washing in a very clean washer with no soap, followed by a cold bleach soak, and finally wrapping up with running through the washer 2-4 complete wash cycles. Of course this is assuming the parent actually owns a washing machine. Laundry mats frown upon using their facilities to wash cloth diapers.
So this might not be so bad if you have the resources available to purchase the needed diapers, the washing facilities to care for them properly and someone to watch your child that is willing to use cloth diapers. So again, why not cloth diapers?
Families today are stressed out. My clients are wondering how they will afford gas to get to work, how to pay the electric bill, how they are going to afford a gift for their child’s birthday or even how to cover that $5 school event. We’ve already established the lack of nearby family to support parents like we used to do. Many of my moms haven’t spoken to another adult in days. Even if a client has a job they may not be able to find or afford childcare for their child in diapers. There are so many things going on now in our world which weren’t a problem when I was a child. Families are hurting in ways we never would have thought about. At one point this year our school district reported 178 students were homeless. This is why we are here.
This is why The Haven exists. We are here to provide a tiny moment of relief without judgement for that parent that finds the obstacles to cloth diapers more than they can overcome. We are here to offer that parent a moment of compassion when they come in our door, embarrassed about needing help. This is why we don’t “make them” use cloth diapers. I hope if you ever find yourself in this situation of needing help you will know we are here for you and will not judge you for your choices or situation.
And as a last thought, if you made it this far, we do offer a resource to provide qualifying families with cloth diapers. If the family wants to make that choice.
Links to more in formation about diaper need, cloth diapers costs, and more are below:
https://www.thebump.com/a/cloth-diapers-vs-disposable
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/cloth-vs-disposable-diapers